The Flagitious Weekend Predictions, Round 1

So, it all comes down to this. All you have ever been waiting for all summer. Psshh...who cares about World Cup!!! The La Liga's back and kicking! No pun intended.

Hércules vs. Atletíc Bilbao ( 9:00)

The blog has to go with Bilbao on this one. It's not just that TG has a weird notion that Hércules are going to be relegated, but it's Llorente and Iker Munian. We just can't wait to see them play.

Prediction: Hércules 1-2 Atletic Bilbao (away win)
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Málaga vs. Valencia ( 11:00)

Now, this is not a hard one, right?? Wrong. Málaga, no matter how bad this sounds, could pull this off. And this time, there's no Silva lining for Valencia.

Prediction: Málaga 1-1 Valencia (draw)
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Levante vs. Sevilla (13:00)

Two for Kanoute and two for Luis Fabiano. That's what the blog says.

Prediction: Levante 0-4 Sevilla (away win)
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Deportivo vs. Zaragoza (8:00)

Quite a belter. But questions all around. Will Riki be fit for Depor?? Will Pennant play for Zaragoza?? Yes and yes, folks.

Prediction: Deportivo 0-1 Zaragoza (away win)
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Espanyol vs. Getafe (8:00)

If the Spanish press were to revert back to their old ways, under pressure the blog is sure that Espanyol would play at least 10 times better than now. Nothing doing for Getafe. They'll have to do it themselves.

Prediction: Espanyol 3-1 Getafe (home win)
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Real Sociedad vs. Villareal (8:00)

Here is a big chance for Sociedad to prove their worth against a much stronger stuck-in-the-Europa-League Villareal. If Sociedad can pull this off, miracle on high. But all the signs point to ANOTHER away win. Chalk up another for the opponents.

Prediction: Real Sociedad 1-5 Villareal (away win)
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Osasuna vs. Almería (8:00)

Ah, is it a derby match? Perhaps, perhaps not. But what TG knows is....no goals.

Prediction: Osasuna 0-0 Almería (draw)
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Racing Santander vs. Barcelona (10:00)

Here is the biggie. And chalk up another win for the away team. Here's the scoop, kids: Zlatan will score his final two for the club before he is deported of to dirty old Italy, Leo will score a hat-trick, and Pedro might score one.

Prediction: Racing 0-6 Barcelona (away win)
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Mallorca vs. Real Madrid (12:00)

The second to last match of the weekend will see multitudes of falls and dives, as well a knee-knackerd, groin-staggering Káká, and a man who only wants to be known as Cristiano. May the guardian angels all protect us.

Prediction: Mallorca 2-3 Real Madrid (away win)
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Atletíco Madrid vs. Sporting Gijón (13:00)

Probably the least interesting start for Quique Sanchez Flores. You couldn't ask for an easier 3-0 win. Deigo Forlán, two goals. Kün Aguero, one goal.

Prediction At. Madrid 3-0 Sporting ( home win)
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"I'm sorry, Humberto, but could I get some more onions on there..WOAH!! Not that much onion! ¡No! Sólo in poco de cebolla, le dije!!

Spaniards, they just don't understand sometimes. Well, that wraps up the Round 1 Predictions for The Goleador, and on Monday the blog will publish the Heros and Zeroes of the weekend!!

Mourinho faces his first tough assignment at Real's helm

After the UEFA Champions League Draw 2010-2011 earlier today, many Spanish fans were left to ponder on the fate of their team in the Champions League.

Personally, the blog is a fan of Barcelona over Real Madrid, but this time TG has to put it's money on Real Madrid to pull out those amazing last-minute wins and fancy tricks over much tougher opposition than Barça. AC Milan is not a walk in the park, especially playing at the Guiseppe Meazza. But Mou knows a bit or two about those Italians, which obviously means he knows some of their tactics. That could help, eh?

Now, after Barcelona were drawn, it left one or two questions for TG to ponder. But one question at a time. The brain can only
hold so much, right? Anyway, Rubin Kazan have been plucked out of the pot and placed side-by-side with Barcelona. They're bet friends, don't you know???!?! But really, will the Russian curse strike the Catalunyan kings as they face Kazan again?? Bookmakers day maybe, the blog says not this time around.

Valencia. After the downright humiliation of Sevilla, people will start looking to the next in line (Valencia) to see how they will fare. Not to well, as it looks of now. No David in their Villa this year. Looks like the team will have to survive without him. Can't see them progressing any farther than the quarter-finals, really, but maybe after a 10-year wait will Santiago Cañizares actually suprise the blog.

So far into the post, the blog hadn't compained about anything. But there is a time or everything, isn't there? Just when the world was warming up to the fact that the Champions League Draw was on television, Giorgio Marchetti steps in. The hugely impatient Italian was rushing all four of the UEFA Players of the Year as if he had somewhere very important to go... More on that some other time.

Fergie gently beckons Van Der Vaart, Mourinho sharpens his knives, and Villareal? Really??

Aahh...there is nothing The Goleador loves more than a little bit of overseas drama. Even more than the Directv pay-per-view "special" events on television. And here, shining in the the blog's spotlight today, is Rafael Van Der Vaart. In an exclusive interview with Marca ( they really know how to wheedle out the truth, don't they), VdV said "I was offered a chance to play [at Manchester United], and with the situation that is taking place in Madrid, it would be very difficult to refuse." "Manchester allows you to fight for titles, something I value at this stage of my career." of course, who wouldn't pass up an opportunity for a fun-loving dutchie, with Galatasaray and Werder Bremen throwing their lots in. The blog wishes it couldve seen Mou's face after those remarks.

Speaking of the almighty gray-haired, spiffy Portugal man, Mourinho told Marca that he wanted to trim his squad. Currently awaiting his call-up are twenty-six players. Originally, Mourinho had twenty, but with six summer signings, the numbers are bound to go up. Many many rumours have circulated about Mourinho's starting lineup, and here is The Goleador's prediction. Casillas, Arbeloa, Carvalho, Sergio Ramos, Marcelo, Xabi Alonso, Gago, Ozil ( Mou really hasn't wasted his time with him: just a day after he was presented as a new player and one training session with his colleagues, he is already ready for inclusion), Canales, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Higuaín. It took the blog a long time to solve this, but all this means is that Alou and Mamadou Diarra, along with VdV (of course), and maybe even Karim Benzema will be heading on the transfer bus out.

Now The Goleador turns it wary eyes onto Villareal. The Pires-lovesick team beat DNEPR 5-0, amazingly enough. Who would have thought!?!

Swiveling around to Catalonia again. Hold the boos, please. Mino Raiola, also known as Mr. protect-Zlatan-at-all-costs-or-else, has spoken out again for Ibra. To Marca, he said, " I think it is easier for Guardiola to go rather than Zlatan. Guardiola is under contract for 1 year, and Ibrahimovic for four. The mathematics are clear." After hearing this atrocity, the blog went and hunted down the professor who was previously known as Raiola's math teacher. Anyone in their right mind would not say something of that magnitude to Pep, except for TG.

Speaking of Barcelona, another of their players has spoken out against Mourinho. It wasn't Gerrard Pique, but Dani Alves. That's right. The midfielder who may be transferring has said that "with or without Mourinho, the Barça way to compete will not change." that's two on the scoresheet for Barcelona, zero for old Mou.

Sevilla's CL downward spiral, and Ozil living the dream ( but is he really?)

After the whole Herculés match-fixing scandals, and all the relgation battles, and all the enourmous financial problems drowning the poor teams, The Goleador has to admit that it is tired out. So, when TG heard that Sevilla were playing a Chanpions League Qualifier against Sporting Braga, it's spirits were piqued and we decided to risk it and see if Sevilla had after a tumultous season in La Primera. And there is only four words to describe how they played: they didn't have it. hum-dee-dum goalkeeper Palop didn't even make an attempt to catch the sitter of a header from Andrés Nascmiento. Would-be "playmakers" Luis Fabiano and Freddy Kanouté played as if the World Cup had ended a week ago. This game has only served to reinforce the dreadful notion TG has had in its head for so long now that Champions League qualfiers are dull and dead-ended. Supercup, here we come.

24 hours before Werder Bremen were to play Sampdoria at the Weserstadion, the German side finally reached an agreement with Real Madrid for the sale of midfield charmer Mesut Ozil. The Goleador figures that Werder were unnerved at the fact the the pouty German had said "sell me or I won't play." Now, Now, Mesut, that's not the way your mom taught you. And if Marca's Wednesday edition cover is true ( It hardly can be, at that), Real have really landed a charmer of a footballer in Ozil. And while Ozil is flown in on a posh, private jet, the man rumored to be leaving Castle Greyskull is none other than Rafael Van Der Vaart. The dutch player was unusually serene when asked about his position at the Bernabau, which is quite unlike him. Usually he his jogging the ball down the left touchline or sniffing the inside of his boots on the bench in a sort of manaical fashion. But, with him, you never really know. But (and There's always that 'but'), TG had it doubts about Mesut. Özil had told AS that he can now say with some satisfaction that “a dream of mine has come true”, although the blog did have to pinch itself and recheck Tuesday’s news, considering Özil told ‘Bild’ last October that it was a “dream of mine” to join Barcelona as “I’ve been a fan of Barcelona, ever since I was a little boy.” More scandals to come? Now that is something that not even TG, with it's supremely intelectuall mind, can answer.