The Flagitious Weekend Predictions, Round 1

So, it all comes down to this. All you have ever been waiting for all summer. Psshh...who cares about World Cup!!! The La Liga's back and kicking! No pun intended.

Hércules vs. Atletíc Bilbao ( 9:00)

The blog has to go with Bilbao on this one. It's not just that TG has a weird notion that Hércules are going to be relegated, but it's Llorente and Iker Munian. We just can't wait to see them play.

Prediction: Hércules 1-2 Atletic Bilbao (away win)
_______________________________
Málaga vs. Valencia ( 11:00)

Now, this is not a hard one, right?? Wrong. Málaga, no matter how bad this sounds, could pull this off. And this time, there's no Silva lining for Valencia.

Prediction: Málaga 1-1 Valencia (draw)
_______________________________

Levante vs. Sevilla (13:00)

Two for Kanoute and two for Luis Fabiano. That's what the blog says.

Prediction: Levante 0-4 Sevilla (away win)
_______________________________

Deportivo vs. Zaragoza (8:00)

Quite a belter. But questions all around. Will Riki be fit for Depor?? Will Pennant play for Zaragoza?? Yes and yes, folks.

Prediction: Deportivo 0-1 Zaragoza (away win)
_______________________________

Espanyol vs. Getafe (8:00)

If the Spanish press were to revert back to their old ways, under pressure the blog is sure that Espanyol would play at least 10 times better than now. Nothing doing for Getafe. They'll have to do it themselves.

Prediction: Espanyol 3-1 Getafe (home win)
_______________________________

Real Sociedad vs. Villareal (8:00)

Here is a big chance for Sociedad to prove their worth against a much stronger stuck-in-the-Europa-League Villareal. If Sociedad can pull this off, miracle on high. But all the signs point to ANOTHER away win. Chalk up another for the opponents.

Prediction: Real Sociedad 1-5 Villareal (away win)
_______________________________

Osasuna vs. Almería (8:00)

Ah, is it a derby match? Perhaps, perhaps not. But what TG knows is....no goals.

Prediction: Osasuna 0-0 Almería (draw)
_______________________________

Racing Santander vs. Barcelona (10:00)

Here is the biggie. And chalk up another win for the away team. Here's the scoop, kids: Zlatan will score his final two for the club before he is deported of to dirty old Italy, Leo will score a hat-trick, and Pedro might score one.

Prediction: Racing 0-6 Barcelona (away win)
_______________________________

Mallorca vs. Real Madrid (12:00)

The second to last match of the weekend will see multitudes of falls and dives, as well a knee-knackerd, groin-staggering Káká, and a man who only wants to be known as Cristiano. May the guardian angels all protect us.

Prediction: Mallorca 2-3 Real Madrid (away win)
_______________________________

Atletíco Madrid vs. Sporting Gijón (13:00)

Probably the least interesting start for Quique Sanchez Flores. You couldn't ask for an easier 3-0 win. Deigo Forlán, two goals. Kün Aguero, one goal.

Prediction At. Madrid 3-0 Sporting ( home win)
_______________________________

"I'm sorry, Humberto, but could I get some more onions on there..WOAH!! Not that much onion! ¡No! Sólo in poco de cebolla, le dije!!

Spaniards, they just don't understand sometimes. Well, that wraps up the Round 1 Predictions for The Goleador, and on Monday the blog will publish the Heros and Zeroes of the weekend!!

The Irational Predictions For La Liga: the final part 4

Today, let's at least get the blog started off on a good foot. Today is the final part of the four-part predictions. The predictions today will be for Zaragoza, Racing, Real Sociedad, and Sporting.

Real Zaragoza

Jose Aurelio Gay. Why do these teams have the worst managers names?????? It kills the blog to say that it doesn't expect anything special from Blanquillos this time around. What TG is saying is, they've got the talent to succeed. For Zeus's sake, the team who has Jermaine Pennant is bound to be in for a ride. And just having the former Liverpool man is good enough to spurn the team on, but no!!! They go and bid on David Trézéguet! No! No! That's just messed up, and thought this may not sound like a rant, IT IS!!!

< TG prediction: 15th

Racing Santander

Racing is the saddest, deplorable, comiserable, despondent wreck of a team the blog has ever seen. TG tried sleeping over it. Meditating on it. But The Goleador just thinks that Santander is pathetic!!!!! Even more sad and unsettling than the music behind Schindler's List.

TG prediction: 19th

Real Sociedad

On the contrary, big balls Carlos Bravo blocked as many goals as were needed as Sociedad floated through a dream campaign that features none other than the downed teams of La Segunda, the garbage-bin twice-removed nephew of La Primera.

TG prediction: 11th

Sporting Gijón

Not wanting to hurt anyones feeling, TG doesn't want to say to much about the Rojiblancos #2. The blog will say that they have definitely gone down in recent years, with Manuel Preciado. In fact, The Goleador is still trying to find out the reason he's still with the club. The blog thinks that even if he leaves, no one will really know the difference. Or at least it won't make fans at El Molinón flip out.

Pray not.

TG prediction: 16th

And that, folks, concludes all the flimflam and jibber-jabber you have been reading for the past few days, but you know the blog won't stop there. Oh, TG can't wait for Round 1 of La Liga...